


The Three Hunters

by Lasgalendil



Series: Starlight and Song [3]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Dwarf/Elf Relationship(s), F/M, Humor, Interspecies, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, M/M, One True Pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2859038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasgalendil/pseuds/Lasgalendil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elf loves Dwarf.<br/>Dwarf loves Elf.</p><p>…wherein Tar-Elessar Telcontar Aragorn Arathornion Edhelharn "Estel" is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Three Hunters

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why, but Gimli and Legolas being ridiculously, loudly in love and everyone else having to deal with it strikes me as hilarious.

The cloak of the _Galadhrim_ , you have found, is a wondrous thing. Incredibly light, surpassingly warm, and impossibly protective as it fades from the green of grass to the silver of water to the deepening grey of twilit sky. It is, however, not perfect. It is not _mithril_ , not impenetrable to the weapons of your enemy…

_“Ai, Ai! Elo! Elo!”_

“Shh, Elf!”

 …and neither is it (however held tightly around your ears) entirely impervious to sound.

_“Ai, ai!  Gimli! Gimli! A Gimli-nîn, meleth-nîn, melethron-nîn—“_

“Be bloody quiet!”

After three days of running, you want—wish, long for!—only sleep.

_“Glais, glais—”_

“Did you not hear me?

 You’ve thought it before and you now think it again: A plague on the stiff necks of Dwarves!

[And their—apparently quite—stiff cocks.]

_“A, him, him!”_

“For fuck’s sake, Elf!”

 A plague, too, on the legendary endurance of said species.

  _“A Gimli, Gimli! I-Chathod-nîn, glass-nîn, Gil-cefn-nîn, faerath-nîn—”_

 [And you thought _you_ had too many names…]

“Mahal’s great cock, Elf! Will you not be silent?"

 And a final plague upon the thrice-cursed loudness of Wood-elves, who, in the face of joy or wonder, have no restraint whatsoever and will not be silenced. 

_“Ai, Gin melin, gin melin, i-vedli-nîn—“_

“Bloody, fucking fuck, Elf!”

Thank the Gods your _Peredhel_ shows more sense. You’ve had her under your bloody father’s nose, and he believes you not yet wed. How the two of you have laughed!

[…but not in bed. Never in bed. There you must be silent.]

Although you must admit the bloody Dwarf does his best:

_“A, baug mregol, mraig, vilui!”_

“Damn you! Just bite the bloody grass, Elf!”

 

[You wonder fleetingly which must taste worse, the mouthfuls of dirt or Dwarf he's had tonight...]

[You decide quickly not to think on the matter entirely.]

_“A—AI! GIMLI, GIMLI, GIMLI—“_

“DO YOU WISH TO WAKE THE BLOODY FUCKING DEAD ELF?”

Oh, for the love of Elbereth and Elven-home! You have known orc-hordes more silent and slaughtered pigs more subtle. You wish only to sit up, to swear, to shout at them that neither of them is being anywhere near silent and that the entirety of the Riddermark, the Wrights in the Barrow-downs and the Hobbits of the Shire and the Woses in the White Mountains and the Dwarves of Dale and the bloody Kine of Araw and the whole of Harad have all already heard them, have they not yet had enough fucking for one night and will they please, please, please just be bloody silent and if not you’re the bloody King of Arnor and Gondor and the heir of Elendil and you will bloody well order him to get his damned cock of out that well-fucked Elven-arse and then will the two of them just kindly shut up and thank you.

_“AI, AI! GIMLI!”_

“Bloody, sodding Elf!”

Then, a wordless scream of pleasure and a final, sated sigh. The Dwarf goes on for some time, the sound of skin slapping on skin as the Elf only pants and moans before he too grunts his guttural approval.

…Silence.

[Sweet, blessed silence!]

Thank the bloody Gods. You roll over and place the rolled cloak of the _Galadhrim_ beneath your head rather than about your ears. You shut your eyes, whispering yet another prayer of thanks to the stars and prepare for some much-needed, well-earned rest.

And then—

_“Glais, glais! A Gimli-nîn, meleth-nîn, melethron-nîn —“_

“You wicked Elf! Again already?”

 

The White Wizard, you note sourly, sleeps soundly through the night as if nothing had happened.

* * *

 Author's Notes:

Galadhrim (Sindarin): literally ‘Tree-folk’, the Silvan Elves of Lothlórien.

Mithril (Sindarin): literally ‘silver-brilliance’, called true-silver and valued above gold, found mostly in Moria, and the metal which made up the coat given to Bilbo by Thorin Oakenshield and worn by Frodo during the events of the War of the Ring.

Peredhel (Sindarin): literally ‘Half-Elf’, the name for Elrond’s children who could chose to inherit either Elvish or Human heritage.

 

And now for some dirty talk in Sindarin:

Ah, ah! Oh! Oh!

Ah, ah! Gimli! Gimli! O my Gimli, my love, my lover—

*Please, please—

Ah, steadfast, steadfast!

O Gimli, Gimli! My Dwarf, my joy, my Earthenstar, my entirety—

O I love you, I love you, my bear—

O sweet, fierce, violent torment!

O—Oh! Gimli, Gimli, Gimli—

Ah, Ah! Gimli!

Please, please! O my Gimli, my love, my lover—

 

*Literally “joys”. 'Saes' is a Grelvish word which is often found in Tolkien fanon, and even though it’s not correct in a Tolkien-based fic I love the sound of it. Glais (Legolas would pronounce Grelvish ‘saes’ as ‘sais’ or ‘sês’ anyways given his Silvanized dialect) it is!


End file.
